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Tuesday,
December 31 2002
Some
people just can't get enough of the IsDickCheneyDeadYet.Com.
Of
course, I later saw that perhaps it was Dick Cheney she was really after.
Ladies,
Ladies, Don't Worry, there is enough Dick to go around for everybody.
You know the vice-president loves dem ho's.
posted
by K A at 4:31 PM
Tuesday,
December 17 2002
Wow,
and, I thought I was hardcore...Lynne Cheney makes it to Number
49 on this Most Loathesome People of 2002 List.
Dick Cheney, though, fails to make the list (Perhaps next year when he
begins killing innocents in Iraq). However, I must say that I love
their write-up of Ari Fleisher:
Misdeeds: Wherever he ends up placed on this list will
not be high enough. This motherfucker carries G.W. Bush's demon seed
in his anal womb, gestates a fresh offspring a couple times a day and
produces a few Rosemary's steamers at press conferences with all the
non-chalance of a Spot Coffee latte jerk. Fleischer is the very bold
assertion, by the powers that be, that Americans and their media
representatives are too whip-shy to just say, "Wait a fucking
minute. You're telling a goddamned lie, Fleischie." He is a
brazen challenge from the tri-laterals and Bildenbergs, etc., that
they know that we, as the TV umbilical-cable-dependent, won't do
anything to jeopardize our little no-compulsory-military-service,
double-mocha-under-a-self-contained, climate-controlled
indoor-suburban-shopping-theme-park-with-a-Botox-safety-net dream.
Aggravating Factor: He is less life-like than every other who has stood in his rank.
Within weeks, there promises to be empirical evidence that Fleischer
was produced by the same laboratory that gave us Nixon tron John Dean.
Aesthetic: C3PO melded with Carson Daly operating off a modified Charles
Grodin chip.
Very
Nice.
posted
by K A at 4:31 PM
Tuesday,
December 10 2002
News Flash: Republican leader Trent Lott makes racist statement......Oh wait
a sec, rather than a news flash, shouldn't we just file this one under
business as usual? Is it really that big news for us to find out that
a Republican is racist? In their defense, I know many, many
Republicans who are not Racist, but I'll be darned if I ever
met a Racist who was not a Republican.
Oh?
The Cheneymeister? Uh uh, not dead.
posted
by K A at 11:38 AM
Friday,
November 8 2002
Dick Cheney? No, Not Dead.
Osama Bin Laden? Yeah, He's Dead.
The truth is that Osama Bin Laden is dead and the US Government knows
this quite well. So, why doesn't the government or the US media come
out and tell us this fact? Easy: If we think Osama Bin Laden is still
alive, then we are fearful. If we are fearful, then we are easier to
control and it is easier to manipulate support for War (War against
terror, War against Iraq, War against our civil liberties). It's true.
Bin Laden is dead, Cheney is not.
posted
by K A at 1:44 PM
Monday,
November 4 2002
Tired
of all the images of propaganda showing Saddam holding a sword or
shooting a shotgun on CNN
and the Hawk
News Channel
?
Finally, a small bit of an antidote:
posted
by K A at 11:22 AM
Friday,November
1 2002
While
being driven home from a Replublican fundraiser this Tuesday night
Dubya and Cheney inadvertently drove through Washington D.C.'s Dupont
Circle neighborhood where the "Drag Races" were
taking place.
While the Presidential motorcade was stopped at 17th and P, the new
RC-7 was able to pick up the following conversation:
Dubya: What in God's name is going on out there?
Anonymous Aide: Well, sir, they say that Halloween is like the
Gay Christmas...
Cheney: Wait a sec...I thought Oscar Night was Gay Christmas...
Anonymous Aide: No, I think that Oscar Night is Gay New Year.
Dubya: Hmmmm...I always thought Christmas was the Gay
Christmas....Huh...What do you think they do for Hanukkah?
posted
by K A at 3:58 PM
Wednesday,
October 28, 2002
He
is not completely dead yet.
posted
by K A at 4:36 PM
Wednesday,
October 27, 2002
He
is so completely not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 4:34 PM
Wednesday,
October 16, 2002
Now
that the Pentagon has revealed that they have a reconnaissance plane
working on the DC Sniper case, I suppose it is time to reveal that
IsDickCheneyDeadYet.com is not to be outdone on the surveillance tip:
We have lifted up the seat cushions on our sofas and found enough
change to spring for our own RC-7 spy plane. Now, we have the most
sophisticated resources to check in on the Veep's health and we will
be able to keep you even better informed in the event that the
unthinkable happens.
Incidentally, our brand new RC-7 picked up the following conversation
earlier today:
Dubya: Dick, now, what is the deal with this sniper? I mean, I
don't know about you...But, I haaaaate the sniper. I mean, it's
like, all he does is go around and shoot people. Dick, do you think we
should make a public statement and come out against this guy? I mean,
if we are the anti-sniper people, then maybe it will look like
the Democrats are in the pro-sniper camp.....
Cheney: Give it time Georgie, Give it time. Let's take a
"wait and see" attitude on this....you never know, maybe
this sniper guy will start killing only the fat people and the
homeless.....Now who would be against that?
posted
by K A at 4:40 PM
Wednesday,
October 09, 2002
Dick
Cheney appears to be safely in hiding once again as the Beltway Sniper
makes his rounds and leaves Tarot cards lying around the DC Metro
region.
Another
DC-based media outlet, NBC 4, aired an interview Monday evening with a
police officer who suggested that in order to stay safe and protect
ourselves from the sniper, we should all "walk around
sideways". I shit you not.
Now,
as bizarre and absurd as it is to think of everyone in the DC Metro
region walking around sideways...I think the wierdest thing about this
advice is that it apparently did not occur to the policeman that sideways
could very well be frontways to a god damn sniper.
posted
by K A at 2:21 PM
Thursday,
September 09, 2002
On
a more serious note, the founder and webmaster of IDCDY.com
will be undergoing the very same open-heart surgery procedure that
Dick Cheney underwent several years ago. However, unlike Cheney, they
will actually be leaving our Webmaster's heart in after the
surgery. And, The Vice-President is not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 11:55 AM
Thursday,
August 29, 2002
As
these
protesters can
attest, he is most assuredly not dead yet.
Best
chant overheard by IDCDY.com staffers at the rally:
"For war profiteering and corporate crime, Cheney should be doing
time"
posted
by K A at 5:51 PM
Wednesday,
August 28, 2002
Too
busy hatin' on Saddam to be dead.
posted
by K A at 4:40 PM
Thursday,
August 15, 2002
posted
by K A at 3:42 PM
Thursday,
August 1, 2002
Note
To The Secret Service Guys Parked Outside My House In White Chevy
Caprice With License Plate Number AX-1230:Your
lights are on.
posted
by K A at 11:22 PM
Friday,
July 15, 2002
Note
To Fat People Who Use the Elevator To Go Up One Floor:You
may not know this...but you can use the stairs. Seriously, you could use
the stairs.
And,
Dick Cheney is not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 5:18 PM
Friday,
July 10, 2002
Note
To Black Women Who Do Not Shave Their Legs:
If you are a feminist, it is fine. But, if you are not a feminist,
then it is just disgusting. Thank you.
And,
Dick Cheney has not been impeached yet.
posted
by K A at 5:25 PM
Friday,
June 7, 2002
No.
No, he's not.
posted
by K A at 4:24 PM
Thursday,
May 30, 2002
Back
in the late Eighties when it was the fashion for many men to wear
their hair long, friends and I used to like to play a game called
"Dude or Chick". The object of the game was for each person
to make a guess as to the true gender of the long haired person in
question by saying either "Dude" or "Chick".
Now,
in the early Naughts, we like to play a game called "Rude or
Schizophrenic". The object of this game is for each person to
make a guess as to whether the person in question is talking on a
hands free cellular phone or is actually schizophrenic by saying
"Rude" or "Schizophrenic".
And,
Dick Cheney is not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 10:12 AM
Thursday,
May 23, 2002
So...is
this guy finally
going to take down his morbid web site? Some people are just sick.
In
other news, a high-level, unnamed Justice Department official has told
IDCDY reporters that Dick Cheney is not a suspect in the
screwing over of Enron's employees while the fat cats made huge
profits, or in the cooking of the books at Haliburton, or in the
secret and illegal conspiring with Big Business to form the Bush
Energy Plan. Good to know.
They
also stated that Dick Cheney is not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 2:04 PM
Tuesday,
April 23, 2002
Ronald
Reagan is not dead yet.
posted
by K A at 3:42 PM
Thursday,
February 22, 2002
No
heart attack today.
posted
by T M at 8:29 PM
Saturday,
January 26, 2002
Not
dead yet.
posted
by T M at 1:05 PM
Wednesday,
January 23, 2002
A
Los Angeles artist realized that if you put a small picture of
"Italy" on Dick Cheney's forehead, he spookily resembles
Mikhail Gorbachev. The Vice President has been kept blissfully unaware
about this. And he's still alive.
posted
by T M at 8:29 PM
Sunday,
January 20, 2002
Alive,
but not eating pretzels.
posted
by T M at 6:01 PM
Monday,
January 7, 2002
Alive,
but not returning calls from Enron buddies.
posted
by T M at 4:47 PM
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